Thursday, November 18, 2004
a fresh lease of life
All she heard was..'I am sorry da, I don't know what to say, I love you, but..it was as though she had shut her ears to all sounds of earth, there was deafening silence that sirened in her ears. She felt sharp sting in her heart or mind, she could not tell. She could never tell if one loved with heart or mind played cupid. She wished it had never happened. Either she shouldn't have met him or she shouldn't have lent in to the emotions that so strongly swept her. He had called that day, he usually never calls, just stops by at her desk and picks her up and they both catch a quick dinner. She thought to herself, I should have seen it, he was more careful with his clothes, he was spending more time at his office, he was flying out of city more often, eating new cuisines. She should have noticed, he smelled differently, was more irritable, did not spend Sunday afternoon's lazing and reading books with her, she knew she cannot complain now. She was 24, knew she had the whole life ahead of her, thought of her responsibilities back home, she knew she cannot. She always lived denying herself any emotions, pain, sorrow from touching her too deeply. Somehow through the pages of time, she had hardened learning to accept a let down..somehow. Not today, it was her first cut, her first cut that pained her, she felt hit, deep and fresh and it hurt. She cried, and couldn't remember when she last did so. She felt weak, vulnerable and lost, couldn't think clearly and saw no hope. But deep down, she felt free, she felt liberated, a spirit of freedom, as though her soul got a new lease of life. She FELT and she was reborn. It was a fresh lease of life, flesh and blood.
3 comments:
Sometimes we go to great lengths to shield ourselves from emotions. Sometimes we go to grater lengths to try and feel them. I've know people who say they can't feel anything, from pain to love. They'll hurt themselves just to try and feel. Others run from emotions (like, suprise, my Demon who is afraid of being loved or being in love). They'd rather be dead inside, or perhaps already are. I find that some emotions are too strng to deal with, but I do my best not to hide from what I feel. Of course I still fail from time to time. Good luck with yours.
The emotions are not mine. Just a character that I imagine. Read about your Demon, sorry for you. Trust things will get better for you soon.
Excellent Imagination, feels like your talking of youself. That's what makes the best charectors, the ones we can relate too. As someone who once wanted to be a writer (till reality got in the way) I applaud you.
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