Thursday, November 11, 2004

Lie to Me

Inspired by the song with the above said title-Bryan Adams:

You said "Don't ask me any questions, I won't tell you any lies".
It comes as such a surprise,I think I will close my eyes to the pain
'Coz tonight I don't want to know where you have been
So won't you lie to me,Then I cannot be mistaken
Swear that you would lie to me,I don't want to hear my heart breaking.

Ever wished so hard that someone would lie to you, tell you what you just heard is not true, ever wished where you were is just a dream, a bad dream and kept hoping that you would wake up and find things just the same, happy and unchanged. Ever felt so much pain, that no tears can dissolve?Ever felt your heart sink, so heavily that you can actually feel the blood draw back from your face, felt your hand go chill and numb, felt a streak of thunder hit your backbone, heard a buzz in your eyes and felt giddy? Ever wished that pain would disappear when you close your eyes?Ever been hit by reality that things are changed, and never can be the same as it was in the past?Ever feared truth,never wanted to know it, knew what truth you thought was truth, was a lie actually, but still did not want to know the truth?Ever lived in peace with this truth?Ever heard one truth that changed everything about you, your life, your beliefs and changed your soul?
Caught in the maze of lies and truth, hopes and disappointments, the mind, heart, body and soul lives through the wheel of time.

1 comment:

Azathoth100 said...

Ok, here's a tale that fits.
I first met me Demon when I was in high school. We've been friends off and onm for 16 years now. I've been in love with her for 14 of those years. Every time we've come close to being a couple she's run away (she was abused when she was little and has a hard time dealing with strong emotions and with the fact that I treat her really good.). She normally will run out of my life for a year, although the last time she left she was gone for 4 years. She came back in November of 2003 and told me she loved me and wanted to spend her life with me. She said she'd always loved me but she thinks of herself as a piece of sh*t and doesn't understand how I can love her. But she said if I could forgive her for all the times she's broken my heart by running away then she would do her best to make this last despite how scared she was. We were together for 3 months before she freaked again and ran. She called me on the phone one night and told me she couldn't do it, she could't stay. I begged her not to go, but I only saw her twice more after that before she stopped calling me again. She now lives in a differant town with a man who she's engaged to and who treats her like crap. (I'm still friends ofher family and hear updates whenever I see them). I remember that night she called and told me she could't be with me, couldn't take how I made her feel special. I would have given anyhting for it not to happen. I prayed to a god I don't quite believe in for it to be a lie. But the lie was that I had fooled myself into believing she would stay. I would give anything for her to come back and stay, but until she gets help to deal with what happened to her she'll never be able to mantain a permenant good relationship. Now a days I have a much harder time believing she's ever going to come back again. I think that last time was it. We both gave it our best but she;'s too messed up inside. So I've lost the only women I've ever wanted to marry. the only person I've ever even thought about having kids with. The only girl I can truly say I've loved with everything in me. If only I could chnage that. But I'm not good enough, not strong enough. I did my best and it didn't even come close. So yes I understand how it feels when reality turns to sh*t around you and you wish it was all a lie because a lie is better than the life you live.
I hope whateveer is going on with you passes and that things do start picking up. Good luck.